Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
