I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
