Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
