Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
