I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
