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So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
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