She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex