yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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