Whod you bang
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
