You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
