i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
