OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
