this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
