Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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