I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
tell your sister to shave her snatch
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My bed smells like the plague
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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