I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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