I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.