Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.