Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

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(708): You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women http://tfl.nu/qt4m

Replies (11) Good night (690) Bad night (1762)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?

(1-702): View more from Nevada

You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.

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(702): Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar? (1-702): You told us you forgot how, and started to cry. http://tfl.nu/t675

Replies (54) Good night (2012) Bad night (7545)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.

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(204): The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume. http://tfl.nu/wyb3

Replies (26) Good night (5676) Bad night (1518)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.

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(204): He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina. http://tfl.nu/1ygc

Replies (30) Good night (5780) Bad night (1798)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

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(774): there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours? http://tfl.nu/8xmr

Replies (7) Good night (3962) Bad night (764)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

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(812): I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me. http://tfl.nu/jath

Replies (6) Good night (3110) Bad night (802)
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(480): View more from Arizona

We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.

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(480): We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her. http://tfl.nu/hua5

Replies (5) Good night (2737) Bad night (577)
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(224): View more from Illinois

I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".

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(224): I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!". http://tfl.nu/pw3u

Replies (8) Good night (3222) Bad night (723)
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(765): View more from Indiana

soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.

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(765): soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it. http://tfl.nu/zcm9

Replies (3) Good night (1004) Bad night (370)
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(330): View more from Ohio

We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.

(330): View more from Ohio

It's hard to explain...

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(330): We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar. (330): It's hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/5wi2

Replies (6) Good night (626) Bad night (302)
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(773): View more from Illinois

This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.

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(773): This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real. http://tfl.nu/vkv3

Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (376)
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(209): View more from California

The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult

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(209): The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/bmm8

Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (388)
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(281): View more from Texas

I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation

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(281): I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation http://tfl.nu/41s4

Replies (1) Good night (218) Bad night (322)
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(407): View more from Florida

I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating

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(407): I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating http://tfl.nu/dhhy

Replies (1) Good night (535) Bad night (212)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"

(703): View more from Virginia

LET IT GO MOM

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(703): Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection" (703): LET IT GO MOM http://tfl.nu/pq96

Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (390)

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