I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
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Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
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It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.