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• (213): View more from California

  I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (619): View more from California

  Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem

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• (650): View more from California

  Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  "Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.

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• (408): View more from California

  I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.

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