Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
