i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
