i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
