I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
