If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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