I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize