He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
