matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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