If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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