Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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