it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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