It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
