Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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