the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
