Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
