they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
