Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
