I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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