I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We named our party play list daddy issues
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
