My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I need moral support for this bender
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
