Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
