Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
