Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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