I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize