I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
