do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize