Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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