dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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