Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
