The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
