But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
