mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She told me I should be a condom model.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
