I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just want nice things and good sex
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
