I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
