There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
