oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
