thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
