I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
