ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
