I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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