Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize