Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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