I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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