I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
