my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
