Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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