I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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