North Korea, Best Korea!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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